Writing about Love around Valentine’s Day when you’re a single girl feels about as comfortable as a hot male gynecologist checking out your downstairs while a Justin Bieber CD plays.
Nevertheless, ‘tis the season and as popular culture, Facebook and even the news won’t shut up about it, its time to talk about looove.
Or, specifically in my case, the lack thereof; unless you count Netflix, Tumblr and my hoodie collection, then I’m seeing several things very seriously. However, I have learned a few things on love that I’d like to share with you all during this magical time of year.
First, Hollywood, books and the OC lied to you. Real love isn’t about the grand gesture or big speeches; it’s about honesty and being with the one person who gets you. As one of my romantic heroes’ once said, “If I loved you less, I could talk about you more.” The guy was so in love with Emma (Jane Austen, look it up) that he literally could not go into more details and Mr. Knightley (aforementioned romantic hero) was not a quiet guy. Love is everyday; it’s sitting through your partner’s favourite TV shows when you’d rather be anywhere else in the world, it’s the I Love You text just because they popped into your head. All those grand gesturey things? They last a moment, but someone who will bring you chicken soup when you’re sick is forever. Forget the boombox blaring love songs, a daily heart emoji will work for me!
Secondly: Love as you want to be loved. You are not perfect, and neither is your partner, so fighting over how long you take in the shower or that they are constantly late is not going to keep the lovelight burning. It will snuff it out like a little kid blowing out a first birthday candle. So many fights are over the tiny details that drive people crazy. Learn to deal, yes it sucks but if you really loved them, the little things really don’t matter. So ignore your partner’s mother’s passive aggressive comments on your tattoo sleeve and they’ll ignore your friends who are constantly over at your house playing video games.
That being said, thirdly: Sometimes, love isn’t enough. Yes, tragic and sad, but even if you really like someone, things fall apart for one reason or another. Rather than dwelling on the crashing and burning, remember the happy times. Every time you love, it’s a lesson to be learned. Maybe you’ll be a little less selfish next time, or they’ll learn to stop being a cheating jerk (even if they don’t, you learn to move on and trust someone else). Love isn’t always easy, and yes, it’s not always going to be happily ever after, but some day it could be, and every relationship that ended before just means more shit you learned to keep you and your dreamboat together.
Okay, back to happy, and I mean Happy. Four: good sex is Important. I’m not talking about huge passion, hours-long screw sessions, I mean sex with connection and joy. Don’t have sex because you think you have to, and don’t do things just because they want to spice it up. If you don’t want to do it, then tell them you don’t. Sex consists of bodies communicating together, so communicate with your words before, during and after. There are two of you in bed, so make sure both of your voices are heard. Make it enjoyable for both of you. Put down the 50 Shades and bring the sexy talk back.
Finally 5: Enjoy love in any form. Whether it be love for your Bestie, your partner, your siblings your parents, your Starbucks Barista; just love with an open heart. Who says you only have to really love just one person? There will be one person who will work by your side for the rest of your life, but there are other people in your life who contribute to your happiness. So appreciate them too!
So with that; I love you Mom, Dad, Sister, Bestie, friends, Netflix and My Starbucks Barista’s who give me so much love, support and caffeine that I so desperately need. And I love you too Blonde reader, for taking the time out of your busy day to read this. Happy Valentines Day!